I love planning weddings.
Okay, let me back up. I love planning anything. I love plans. I love following plans and being organized and having everything turn out beautifully because that's how I planned it and I made it happen. I feel accomplished after something I have planned works out well. I am not inflexible, I do not get upset when circumstances cause a plan to veer off course, I simply adapt. In fact, I always have contingency plans and back up plans because, well, that means more planning. It's a win-win!
And planning weddings is like the ultimate challenge! It's a huge undertaking! And you only get one shot to get it right. (Well, most people only take one shot...) And in the end, it's only the first day of the rest of your life with your spouse. And you have at least 1440 chances every day after your wedding to get it right. Your wedding is just one day.
Keep that in mind, it's just one day. It's important, yes. But every day with your spouse is important.
Your wedding is not just about you and your spouse. It is about you and your spouse, but it's also about your families, your friends, and your lives coming together. It's a lot to manage. And most importantly, as Christians, it's about God. In your lives as individuals, and in your life together, it's God's plan that will work, not yours. It's difficult for me to admit that, all the time. But it's true. And really, if I want a plan to work, I must leave it in God's hands, and let Him do what He wills.
Some people are all big picture when it comes to weddings. All they see is two people getting married, committing to love and cherish one another for the rest of their lives. They don't care about the little things like food and location, they just want to get married and get going.
Some people are all details. From the arrangement of the flowers to the amount of food on each plate to the spelling of guests' names on place cards. And they miss the big picture that they are making a lifelong commitment that they will be renewing daily.
Like a mosaic, you can stand apart and see the whole, or you can stand really close and focus on the individual pieces, but it's best to move in between. Get close and take care of the details: location, flowers, catering, guest lists, decor. Then step back and appreciate the wonder: God is joining you with this person for the rest of your lives and He's going to be with you every step of the way.
Somewhere in the middle, find the perspective of others. You might have older relatives at your wedding who will appreciate being recognized for their own commitment. And young children who don't understand yet, but may remember the seriousness with which you took your vows and the happiness you exuded as you and your spouse prayed together as husband and wife for the first time. The bridesmaid who is so happy for you, but heartbroken and hopeless for herself. The groomsman who can't wait to get out of this monkey suit. Your parents who are a little scared for you, maybe remembering you as a child, and scared for themselves as their own lives are changing. And your perpetually late cousin, who can't find her way out of her own yard on a clear day, but would be devastated if she missed a minute of your wedding.
Make a note in the program. Take photos with purpose. Write thank you notes that aren't for wedding gifts. Plan your ceremony with care. Relax at your reception. Connect with each guest. Enjoy God's day. Everything else will be okay.
(my bff and I at her wedding)
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