Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.14

believe it and sing it.

sing it again.

and again.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.13

even when you don't feel it.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.12

look up psalm 136 in the bible.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.11

write "you are loved" on sticky notes and stick them to your window, door, a flat surface. 

if you're feeling especially bold, stick them to mirrors in public bathrooms or on community boards.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.10

don't forget: you are loved.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.9

write "you are loved" on a notecard and slip it under someone's door.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.8

write "you are loved" on your hand and high-5 everyone today.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.7

tell someone you love them today.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.6

spell out "you are loved" in scrabble letters, magnets, everything, and anything!

every chance you get.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.5

look up john 3:16 in the bible.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.4

write this note and leave it in a library book.

Apostrophe, Vol.26, Ep.75

I go back and forth on the whole swearing thing.

Sometimes, I don't see the problem, and I think to myself "what's the big deal? they're only words."

And other times, I feel really convicted and remember verses that my mother likes to quote like "out of the heart the mouth speaks" or something like that.

She's not referring only to swearing, of course, she says that every time I rip someone a new one with my rapier wit and sharp tongue.  I do have a sharp tongue.  And I think I do hurt people's feelings.

I am sorry.  Afterward.

But typically, in the moment, I am enraged at the injustice that I perceive.  Or the idiocy.  Or both.

I'm awful if it's both.  Laughably awful.  I say horrible things that are horribly funny and people laugh, not because they agree, though the might, but because what I said was so hilariously and awfully true.

Yeah.

That's not speaking the truth in love.

Being funny doesn't mean I'm right, and speaking truth harshly, doesn't help the person I am speaking to or about.

And I want to be helpful.

I want to be nice.

I guess that brings me back to the whole swearing thing.

I have used swear words before.  I have even used faux swear words... a lot.

And I feel better for a while.  But then I don't.

I know that people think less of me when I swear, and no, I don't really care what other people think.

But...

I'm a Christian.  And I don't want people to think less of Jesus because I swear.

I don't want people to think less of Jesus because I am uncharitable in how I speak of others.

I don't want to stand in someone's way of discovering the truth about Christ.

And while I don't care what people think about me, I care what they think about Jesus.

So I'm not going to swear and I'm going to speak truth in love.

Even when people are acting unjustly or dumb.

That's my challenge for today.

Where do you stand on the whole "swearing" issue?

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.3

write a little note like this and tape it to your mirror to remind you.

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.2

send flowers to a stranger, it will make their day!

Watermark, Vol.3, Ep.1

In honor of my favorite holiday.

I'm posting a photo a day until Valentine's Day.

They all say the same thing.

You Are Loved.

And it's true! You are loved!

Hopefully, you will see you are loved and be inspired to share with someone else.

Here is today's:

If you find a creative way to tell someone they are loved, please share in the comment section or direct message me on twitter.

You Are Loved!

Watermark, Vol.1, Ep.14

It's been real.

Breve, Vol.1, Ep.1

I Will Survive ~ Gloria Gaynor

At first I was afraid I was petrified.
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side.
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong.
And I grew strong!
And I learned how to get along!
So now you're back from out of space.
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face.

I should have changed that stupid lock!
I should have made you leave your key!
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me.

Go on now, go, walk out that door!
Just turn around now‚
cause you're not welcome any more.
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt (crush) me with goodbye?

Did I crumble
Did I lay down and die
Oh no, not I! I will survive!
Oh and as long as I know how to love I know I stay alive.
I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give.
And I'll survive!
I will survive! Hey, hey.

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart.
Kept tryin' hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart!
And I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself. I used to cry!
But now I hold my head up high.
And you see me somebody new!
I'm not that chained-up little person still in love with you.

And so you feel like droppin' in,
and just expect me to be free,
now I'm saving all my loving for someone who is loving me!

Go on now...

Degree, Vol.1, Ep.1

Alright, friends! With my post about cookie dough yesterday, I was feeling really hungry and thought I'd share my super duper secret recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies!  Make sure you have lots of milk, these babies are mouth-watering!

The secret to superior chocolate chip cookies is undercooking, it sounds gross, it's not. 

It's pulling the cookies out of the oven right after the edges begin to turn brown.  You can't tell anyone, cause it sounds gross and they question whether they should be eating the cookies. It's perfectly safe.  

So, besides that my recipe is essentially the same as the one on the back of Nestle Toll House chips. (the only chocolate chips I use, by the way) And that is my secret to amazing chocolate chip cookies.

Here is the recipe with more specifics:

2 sticks of sweet cream salted butter (not margarine) melted in the microwave for like 30 seconds.

Add 

3/4 cup of white sugar

3/4 cup of brown sugar

2 eggs

1 tsp of vanilla

1 tsp of salt (or less if you are Tina)

1 tsp of baking soda 

Stir by hand. 

I don't use a mixer for cookies, it's just lazy. 

Add 

2 1/4 cup of flour a half cup at a time, 

Hold the 1/4 cup of flour if the dough seems too thick and [optional] add 1 - 1 1/2 cups of old fashioned oats oatmeal.

Add 

chocolate chips (the whole regular size bag - no halfsies like some people do - they crazy!) 

And I substitute pecans for the walnuts.  

Sometimes I put in all of the flour and the oatmeal - but if you want smooth chocolate chip cookies, hold off on the nuts and the oatmeal.  

Bake at 375 for 6-8 minutes, watch the oven like a hawk and pounce when the middle of the cookies appears congealed and the edges are barely brown.  Let cool (read: finish cooking) for 10 to 15 minutes.  And don't forget to lick the spoon after you've baked as much as you can.  :)

the end

Watermark, Vol.1, Ep.13

My second favorite way to eat cookie dough, buried in vanilla ice cream, and covered in chocolate syrup. Yum!

Ampersand, Vol.1, Ep.12

A loving spoonful.

I love cookie dough.

I think it might be, wait... Yes. Chocolate chip cookie dough is my favorite thing in the world.

It's probably the gooeyness and the intense amount of sugar. And of course, the chocolateness and nuttiness. (I always put pecans in mine.)

Most of all, I love chocolate chip cookie dough because it's so good but so bad at the same time.  I feel immediately that I'm doing something naughty, but it tastes so good I just can't help myself.

And I'm so silly.

If I waited until the dough was baked, I would have delicious warm chocolate chip cookies.  Cookies that last for days!  Cookie dough goes sour or dries up if I try to save it.  (And believe me, I've tried!)

In order to make cookies, I have to preheat the oven. 375º no more, no less.  The environment must be prepared and perfect.

And I have to wait.  I think that's what makes cookie dough so much more alluring.  No waiting.  Mix together some random [carefully measured] ingredients and BOOM! A delicious treat to bring me bliss, albeit temporary, since one bite is never enough.

I don't know why I hate waiting so much, maybe because I'm an American and I typically don't have to wait for anything.  Every want is instantaneously met. (And shooting rabbit!)

However, cookie dough must be baked thoroughly to fulfill it's intended purpose: to become a cookie.  It's worth the wait once I have the cookie. But it's hard to look at that dough and not take a little taste.  Just to hold me over.

Of course, I always regret it.  Especially, once the cookies are baked and I'm suddenly too full to enjoy them.  And I look at my pitiful pile of baked cookies and realize that most of my intended cookies have already been devoured before they were ready.

Intimacy is like cookie dough.

I want intimacy.

I want to be indescribably close to someone.

And when I get the opportunity to have that feeling, even for a moment, I want to take it!

I want to tell him a secret, something I've never breathed to anyone.  I want to trust him completely.  I want to take his hand while we watch a movie.  I want to let him hold me deep in his embrace when I feel like crying.  etc.

But, afterward, I don't like the feeling that I've given something away to someone that wasn't intended for him.

I don't like knowing that I have done something that I wasn't ready for.  I thought I was ready, but I have been wrong every time.

And I don't want to go through my life, eating cookie dough, and have nothing left to put in the cookie jar for my future husband.

Now what?

I'm going to have to think about it.  And probably make some difficult decisions about how I relate to men.  There is one way that intimacy isn't like cookies, I can't just make more.  I only have one heart to give, and it get's smaller every time I give a piece away to someone who won't receive all of it.

Watermark, Vol.1, Ep.12

Happy Sunday!

Jump for joy today!

Watermark, Vol.2, Ep.1

I know most of you probably know about "follow friday" which is all well and good.  But, personally, I prefer unexpected alliteration - always have.  Thus: It's PHOTO FRIDAY!  Below are some of my favorite photos.  I'm a bit of a photographer so all of these photos were taken, edited, and now copyrighted by me.  (So if you want to share them with others, please do, but please give me a little credit, Thanks!)

Juliet

Dawn

Dallas

Dakota

Farm House

Marsh

Parents

Brothers

A-Team

Teal

Star

Johanna

Kayla

Mwari

Sunflower

Rochester

Iq

Farmer's Market

Ernie

Smile

Sisters

Apostrophe, Vol.26, Ep.57

Hello Friends!

I love Valentine's Day!  It's my holiday!  I feel like everyone has a favorite holiday or time of year and Valentine's Day is mine.  In Wisconsin, where I live, it falls in the dead of winter when everyone has cabin fever and nothing to do except shovel snow and attempt to stay upright while scurrying over the ice from house to car to job and back again.  It's not a joyous time, so I like to bestow a little joy on all of my friends in the form of snail mail.  And this year, if you want a Valentine, I'll send you one!  Direct message me on twitter at @livehappilyever or on tumblr with your address.

This Valentine's Day, my dear friend, Johanna, and I are making dinner for some of our friends.  So if you have any suggestions on how to make this platonic dinner fun and not sad, I'd love to hear them!

Also, as a gift to some of our favorite people, myself, Angela, and a few others are thinking of offering free babysitting but we want to have a little fun with our couple friends so we're making them fill out a questionnaire about their love lives.  Best answers win!  So, we also need suggestions for awesome and heartwarming questions to ask them... so far we're thinking "how did you meet?" and so forth, but if you think of something brilliant. Please let me know!

And there you have three fabulous reasons that I love Valentine's Day!  I love doing things for people: spreading joy, cooking delicious food, and caring for children.  It's just one of the ways that I can show people I care about them.  Too many people focus on the romantic side of Valentine's.  And that's fine.  And I hope someday I'll have something like that, but even then, I still want to spread joy and love and make people feel special!

What are your plans for Valentine's Day?  Need ideas? I have lots!

Love Always,

Charity

Comma Vol.1, Ep.7

Dear Future Husband,

Love You Forever,

Charity Ellen Your Last Name

Watermark, Vol.1, Ep.11

Ampersand, Vol.1, Ep.11

Total Listening

So now you're going to be the best listener in the world!  Woohoo!

So just to recap:

Good Listeners listen actively, and with empathy, openness, and awareness.

You know how to listen now, but how do you let people know that you're really listening and really care about them and want them to listen to you with as much focus as you listen to them.  Start with the following:

• Maintain good eye contact - not staring, but consistent meeting of the eyes, keep it natural, please!
• Lean slightly forward - slightly.  Who remembers Hitch? "You go 90% and I come 10%." Slightly = 5%.
• Affirm the speaker by nodding or paraphrasing. Be sincere, not a bobble head.
• Clarify by asking questions. One to two questions at a time, and calmly!
• Actively move away from distractions.  Loud music? Spastic dancing? Television? No, thank you!
• Be committed to understanding what was said, even if you're feeling emotional.  If you're feeling overwhelmed, put the conversation on pause, compose yourself, and continue.  Be as committed to the conversation as you are to strengthening your relationship with this person.

If you still don't feel heard, tell the person.  These are your friends, family members, or significant other.  They want a relationship with you, too!  And they need to know you feel ignored, unimportant, unloved, or incompetent.  

Your feelings are valid! 

So tell them!  Give them a chance to listen, too!

Love!

Watermark, Vol.1, Ep.10

Ampersand, Vol.1, Ep.10

Yay! The 4th and final step to being a good listener!  Most of what is described in this step is done subconsciously, so to make sure you're listening with awareness, give yourself a week or two to practice before allowing it to fade back into a subconscious process.


Listening with Awareness


It's so simple and you probably already listen with awareness, but you may not know that you do.

If you compare what is being said to your own knowledge without judgment, you already listen with awareness.

If you mentally seek congruence in tone and body language, you already listen with awareness.

That's it!

Simple right?

Simple enough, but to be on the safe side, I'll elaborate.

(I love to elaborate!)

In order to listen with awareness, it is important to accept another's communication, compare with what you already know about people, history, events, etc, and simply note how it fits with your own knowledge.

It's important to do this without judgment or pointing out fallacies.

Remember, you are trying to deepen your relationship with this person, correct?  That's difficult to accomplish while pointing out their flaws in logic.  (I'm just saying!)

Second, in order to listen with awareness, it is important to note whether the communication matches the speaker's tone and posture.  If they are describing something happy, they should look and sound happy.  That's called congruence.

If they look relaxed while describing a stressful event, something is amiss.  Being aware will help you note these discrepancies and ask for clarification.  It's okay to tell friends that their body language seems to bely their words.  Asking for clarification will deepen your relationship by increasing the capacity for accurate communication.  In other words, you'll each understand one another better because you are more aware.

How aware are you in conversations?  Is it something you are willing to work on?

Tomorrow's post is about Total Listening.  Mm!  Sounds intriguing! Until then, peace!