Apostrophe, Vol.26, Ep.75

I go back and forth on the whole swearing thing.

Sometimes, I don't see the problem, and I think to myself "what's the big deal? they're only words."

And other times, I feel really convicted and remember verses that my mother likes to quote like "out of the heart the mouth speaks" or something like that.

She's not referring only to swearing, of course, she says that every time I rip someone a new one with my rapier wit and sharp tongue.  I do have a sharp tongue.  And I think I do hurt people's feelings.

I am sorry.  Afterward.

But typically, in the moment, I am enraged at the injustice that I perceive.  Or the idiocy.  Or both.

I'm awful if it's both.  Laughably awful.  I say horrible things that are horribly funny and people laugh, not because they agree, though the might, but because what I said was so hilariously and awfully true.

Yeah.

That's not speaking the truth in love.

Being funny doesn't mean I'm right, and speaking truth harshly, doesn't help the person I am speaking to or about.

And I want to be helpful.

I want to be nice.

I guess that brings me back to the whole swearing thing.

I have used swear words before.  I have even used faux swear words... a lot.

And I feel better for a while.  But then I don't.

I know that people think less of me when I swear, and no, I don't really care what other people think.

But...

I'm a Christian.  And I don't want people to think less of Jesus because I swear.

I don't want people to think less of Jesus because I am uncharitable in how I speak of others.

I don't want to stand in someone's way of discovering the truth about Christ.

And while I don't care what people think about me, I care what they think about Jesus.

So I'm not going to swear and I'm going to speak truth in love.

Even when people are acting unjustly or dumb.

That's my challenge for today.

Where do you stand on the whole "swearing" issue?

Caret, Vol.1, Ep.8

In my mind, I think of Jesus as the sun.  God as the giver of life, and Jesus as the sustainer of all living things.  He's big and powerful and could destroy me in a second.  But, He's loving and warm and chases away the demons of darkness.

It's not a standard or widely accepted theology.  It's an analogy.

And I don't believe in the whole "Mother Earth" thing because without God, earth would be just one more floating rock in space.  And without Jesus, I would be just one more soul on it's way to hell.  So I guess, in my astronomical analogy of life and eternity, I'm like earth, nothing special until God created new life in me.

Also, in this analogy, I want to be like the moon so that I can reflect the sun's light to earth.  Reflect Jesus to earth.  Lead others to the center of the universe, bring them to Christ.

It brings a whole new meaning to in the world but not of it.  I'm a floating rock in space, part of the earth, but made of moon.

Did I lose you?

It's an analogy, and it has a few kinks.

The point is, I love the poem from above because it explains how I feel about my Savior.  And I love the moon because it pulls me back to Him.  (Like ocean waves... too much analogy? I know.)

Ampersand, Vol.1, Ep.5

Is anyone listening?

I mean, really listening?

It's frustrating, isn't it?  To feel like no one is listening to you.  That no one values what you say.

It's frustrating to me.  I feel angry and sad and hurt when I am not listened to.  It leads me to believe that I'm not worth listening to.  That what I say does not have value.  That who I am is not valuable.

A grad school professor often said that all behavioral and emotional problems in "normal and sane" individuals can be traced back to one of two basic beliefs about the self.

"I am unlovable" and "I am incapable."

When I am not listened to, I begin to believe one or both of these maladaptive beliefs.

And in my mind, there are only these two options.

Option 1: That I am incapable of adequately communicating my thoughts and ideas in a way that is acceptable to another person.

Option 2:  That I am unlovable and therefore unworthy of acceptance or attention from another person.

I don't like either of these options.

And it is one of my worst fears that one or both of these are true.  But, what my mind and heart always forget to tell me is that there is secret option 3.

It's the most likely scenario, and it's the truth.

Option 3:  The people I am speaking to are not listening because they are thinking about themselves and not me.  They are thinking about what they are going to say next, how they are being perceived, and when they are finally going to be able to speak again.  The fact that they are not listening to me has nothing to do with who I am, what I've said, or how I've said it.

And if I'm really honest, when they talk, there are times when I'm not listening to them either.

So, how do I get someone to listen to me?

I can't make someone listen to what I say or care about who I am.  But, I can control how I listen and care about them.  If I demonstrate that I am listening intently and I do care about who they are, then we can build a relationship of listening and caring for one another.

It's likely that once I begin to slow the conversation down and really listen to them, they will, in time, listen to me.  And if they continue being oblivious, then, by that time, we will hopefully have a strong enough relationship that I can tell them that I feel ignored when I speak to them.  

It will take time.

It may take more time than I am currently willing to give.

But, it will be worth it because people are worth investing in.

Check back tomorrow for some practical ways to listen.  Peace!

Watermark Vol.1, Ep.7

Super helpful information for all drivers... adjust accordingly.