One of the common complaints I hear from friends that belong to the fairer sex is that men don't step up. Specifically, Christian men. It seems, in general, that Christian men take all the time in the world to declare intentions to the object of their affection. Or never actually get around to doing that.
Thusly, us females tend to live in a state of complete confusion and tension. Thoughts rush around our brains like an express train on a twisted mountain ridge.
And it's so much easier to blame the guy. It's his fault for leading us on or not making a move.
We get so upset/irate/frustrated that we can react negatively/strangely. {We were going to walk in and she was going to say "sit down"}
However, we females are responsible for our decision to get on the erratic thought train, the rushing to and fro between "he loves me" and "he hates me." Get off the train! Even express trains have to stop sometimes. When you get the opportunity, gather your belongings and quickly exit through the nearest door.
If you're a guy and you like a girl, let her know. If you do not like a girl, let her know. Define the relationship either way. Do not lie, please. Do not try to soften the blow.
No more playing games, be honest, be truthful, be upfront, be kind, and believe your brother/sister in Christ. If you feel his/her words contradict his/her behavior, tell him/her! He/she may not realize how he/she comes across. He/she may have noticed some contradicting words/behaviors of yours as well. (Raise your hand if you are now completely on the "english needs a gender inclusive singular personal pronoun" bus after reading that paragraph. I nominate "slash.")
So, whether the object of your desire is moving too slow (i.e. not at all) or an acquaintance is, oddly enough, moving too fast and freaking you out. Take a deep breath, get off the train, and pray. Pray, pray, pray! Then tell him/her where you're at in the emotion arena and ask if he/she is in the same place, too.
Please, do not give ultimatums. Ask the question and while you wait for the answer, pray.
Life never goes the way you think it will. Pray, depend completely on God, and be patient.
In my experience, men need other good Christian men around them to talk about relationships, and encourage them to make a move, declare, and start a relationship with the right woman. Women need other good Christian women around them to talk about relationships, and encourage them to get off the erratic thoughts train and be patient while waiting for a relationship with the right man to start.
Friends, any sage words of advice? Thoughts? Please comment below or tweet me: @livehappilyever. Thanks!
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